Síðasti fyrirlesturinn sem Shunryu Suzuki-roshi hélt þann 21. ágúst 1971 - 2. hluti

 

"Way things exist." Here is, maybe, the problem of "to be" and "should be." "To be" and "should be." Recently people do not like the words "should be." [laughs] You like "to be," maybe. "Should be" looks [like] some rules, and "to be" is freedom: Whatever you do, that is good—that is "to be."

 

But it will be the opposite. "Should be" is "to be" [laughs], and "to be" is "should be." When you behave according to the circumstances, appropriately, then that is "should be" and that is "to be." "To be" and "should be" is same. But when your selfish idea arises and rejects "should be," reject the way you exist, then that is not way "to be." You are involved in delusion—delusion of self.

 

And in its strict sense, you cannot survive in that way. You think you can, but actually you cannot. Or you want to survive in that way, but actually it is not possible. If you want to go to Los Angeles, you should take Freeway 101 [laughs]. You cannot go that way, even though you want to go opposite way. "Many people are going that way, take 101, so I will go to the opposite way." Eventually you will reach to Los Angeles [laughs, laughter]. But that is a kind of—the way you choose.

 

So to think about a kind of freedom is good, but actually that is not possible. So knowing that that is not possible, to think about it is another matter. But if you sit seriously—try to do whatever you want to do, that is delusion. It means that you are completely involved in delusion. It is not actual. It is not possible to survive in that way. So "should be" and "to be" is not different.

 

So real freedom is in "should be" and in its true sense "to be." That "should be" is the way for beginners, and that "to be" which is one with "should be" is the advanced student. So first stage should [laughs]—should be "should be." [Laughs, laughter.] And "should be," should be "should be" [laughs]—an endless, continuous practice of "should be" [laughs]. You have no chance to get out of "should be" [laughs]. That is okay. Pretty soon "should be" will be "to be." "Should be" or "to be"—you don't care. "Should be" is okay. "To be" is okay, for you. That is the goal of practice.

 

So Dōgen-zenji says, "Buddhism originally is beyond all positivity and negativity." Buddhism originally is beyond the all "to be" and "should be." Real way is not only "to be," but also "should be." Or not only "should be," but also "to be." That is real way. That is the stage you will acquire after following teaching.

 

Ahh. This is rather discouraging [laughs]. Maybe if I say so from the beginning, you may say, "Oh, I wish I didn't start practice Buddhism. [Laughs.] It is too difficult." You may say so, but Buddhism is not any special teaching. Actually, Buddhism is our human way.

 

Here we have many things to think about. First of all, we should know how—we should know that this world is for human being—for human being, not for birds or cat but for human being—this world is world of suffering [laughs]. Originally—not originally, but—for human being, as long as we are human nature, which is very selfish, which care for something which you cannot acquire or you cannot expect. That is human nature. We care for something which we cannot reach. Or because you cannot reach you want it. Because we do not stay young forever, we want to be young always [laughs]. Something which we cannot expect is something we like. That is our human nature. So human life is, at the same time, a life of suffering. That is very true.

 

We should know many things about our human being. When you know about human nature deep enough, then you will start to practice Buddhism. It is like operation. When the pain is strong enough to accept operation, you will go to the doctor [laughs]. But it is almost impossible to have operation when you have no pain. Because you have a great pain, because you know human nature well enough, you start Buddhism like you go to the doctor to have operation. This is nature of Buddhism. That is why you practice zazen.

 

At first when you sit, many things will come up, many ideas—many wrong ideas and many things you did before. We don't do so much good things in comparison to bad things [laughs]. Most of the things we do is bad [laughs] or things you feel regretful. Something when you do, you feel very good, but after you did it, how do you feel? [Laughs.] "Oh. I thought it was very good, but it was not so good." [Laughs.] That is something—feeling you have. And that kind of feeling comes up constantly when your mind is very calm, like a bubble comes up from the bottom of the water. When the water is rough—not smooth enough, then no bubbles comes out. Even though it comes out, you don't notice it. As soon as your mind becomes calm, you may realize how much bubbles you have in your bottom of your heart. The real practice starts from that kind of practice.

 

You may say Zen practice should be calm—to have calmness of your mind is real practice. "I have been practicing zazen for so many years—two years, three years, or more than that. Still I don't have calmness [laughs] of mind at all. What shall I do?" That will be your question.

 

In zazen practice, we say if something arises in your mind, let it arise, let it come. Then it—they will not stay so long, so let it go away. In zazen that works pretty well. If you let it come, and if you do not entertain them, they will go away. But in actual life it is not so easy. You may suffer. Then what will you do? When you suffer, what you will do? The suffering is very strong. What will you do? Here is something you should think about.

 

The one point is, your practice is in the first stage, and you have next stage and the third stage. In the next stage, you will, like when you have good zazen practice, nothing arises in your mind. Your mind will be, even for a while, in complete calmness, where there is no image or no feeling. Your mind is complete calmness. That is the next stage you will have in your zazen practice. And the third stage will be the stage you come back to the stage—something like the first stage where there is many problems, where there is many weeds, and where there is many flowers. But the way you see the flowers, the way you see the weed, is different, but nearly the same stage. Looks like same stage, but big difference.

 

So you don't have to solve that problem. The point is you should continue that practice of difficulty. That is the point. So you should know that is only the first stage of your practice. So you cannot solve the problem only at the first stage. If you struggle at the first stage, you will lose your practice. That is why we say, "Great patience is the best of virtues. [Laughs.] To continue it is most important practice